Beauty of My Scars


One day while crawling up a branch, I looked down and saw the most beautiful of butterflies, perched on another branch. In that moment, my Creator showed me a vision of what I could become. However, doubt filled my heart. How could something like me become something like that? Unsure of what to make of it all, I continued to crawl my way up. Was this to be my fate? Was I to spend the rest of my life crawling on my belly?

The wind stirred and blew against the branches below. The butterfly flapped its wings and flew up into the bright sunny sky. Its magnificent colors contrasted with the deep blue skies behind it. If only, I thought to myself. Yet the promise of what I could become remained at the forefront of my mind. If I were to give up my life as it was, in total surrender, I could be transformed into something new. Do I risk foregoing this change by remaining who I am today? Dare I not give myself to the Almighty?

Other questions filled my mind also. How long will it take? How painful will the process be? Yet no answers were given to me. I had to be willing to trust in Him, no matter what happened, and endure until the end. If I left at any point in the process, my future would be highly uncertain. All I knew was that I no longer wanted to be a caterpillar. I had potential to become something more and longed for the freedom to become it. I was given the first step; to spin myself into a silky cocoon. All other steps were promised to follow sequentially after each step was taken. Had I known all the steps beforehand, I likely would not have taken that first step. But in my ignorance, I stepped out in faith for the first step.

I underwent the changes, one by one, in my cozy environment. But over time, it became extremely uncomfortable. I wanted to be free and pressed with all my might against my surroundings. Alas, I was too weak. I tried again repeatedly but my efforts showed no results. With the utmost determination, I continued to work at it, and eventually grew stronger during the struggle to free myself. Suddenly I bursted forth from the cocoon and stretched my splendorous wings outward. The sun’s warm rays shone brightly upon me.

The promise was fulfilled; I was given a new life. With my newfound freedom, I soared the winds of the skies. I could do so much that was once impossible. The thrill of it all captivated me. My powers took me places that I never dreamed I could go. But they also took me to places I should never have gone to. In such places I was badly hurt. Some did not appreciate my beauty and shoved me aside. Others saw it but tricked me with smooth words and empty promises. With wings torn and tattered, I felt devalued and unappreciated by the world. I realized then I was not created for them but for the One who created me. Thus, I returned to my Creator.

My gaping wounds oozed with rot and disease. I yearned to be healed from the wounds and in time I was. Why leave the scars though, I wondered. A brief look into the waters returned my reflection. I saw scars that reminded me of the poor choices I made along the way. I also saw where others hurt me. My last fleeing thought occurred before leaving the water’s edge; I saw a survivor.

When you see me from a distance, you will see the grandeur of my beauty. But get any closer and you will see the beauty of my scars.

Backup Plan

The voice on the other end of the phone call was one of concern. My dad fell earlier that morning. Despite my warning not to move heavier objects, he chose to move a small but heavy five tier plastic shelf from one room to the other by himself. It was the kind that easily falls apart if not picked up from the bottom. I mistakenly moved it into another room two days prior, not knowing it belonged to him. He didnt want to trouble me. While I admire his resolve to undo my mistake, I never want to see him get hurt.

In the process of carrying the shelf, it fell apart. During an attempt to minimize the damage, he ended up falling forward, and his chest rammed into the corner of the shelf. At first, my mom was startled but he didnt seem to think anything was too bad. However, shortly after the bruise got much worse. When she saw it again a little later, she was strikingly alarmed by its newly formed appearance.

“That looks terrible,” I exclaimed when I walked into the house and saw the damage to his chest. I had to turn away at first. After looking back at it again, I noticed the swelling protruded nearly an inch outward from his chest. It was all manner of awful looking. I agreed he should have it checked out by a doctor. I was surprised he wasnt in more pain, but the pain did increase as time passed. We started to think maybe a rib broke and puctured something inside, causing internal bleeding. Being that he is on blood thinner, we are careful any time he bleeds.

I waited for them out in the waiting area at the urgent care center. Mom came out later to inform me it was a hematoma. After looking up what that meant, I was still a little unsure of his condition. In the meantime, they were taking a chest xray to make sure nothing else was going on. Afterwards, we were called back to the room with him to hear the doctor’s prognosis. The doctor told us it happened because of him being on blood thinner. If he were to drain the blood from the swollen area, it would simply fill back up, causing a loss of blood. The terrible swelling is what actually stopped the bleeding by putting pressure on the areas damaged by the unexpected trauma.

From what we could see, the bruise continued to worsen as time passed. The discoloration of his skin tone spread reaching across a large portion of his chest and even onto his stomach.
As awful as it looked on the outside, God had a plan in place which we were totally unaware of. Unknown to us, it started working the moment the injury took place. It took no effort on his part to get his body to do what was needed to start the healing process. Much like other miraculous powers built within us, this one too laid dormant until his body was attacked.

It’s interesting to see just one of God’s plans put forth into action. His ways are higher than our ways. When things happen in life, we may not be able to understand what is happening. From what we can see, it may look bad. It might even seemingly get worse before it gets better. But when you learn to trust in Him, you’ll come to recognize that this happens more often than we know. God is always at work in our lives, whether we see it or not. When we make good decisions and even when we make mistakes, He is there. He is never surprised and always has a backup plan.