Love Self

Waiting for a Feeling? Part 1

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Fear is sometimes a challenge. Many fears are irrational and unlikely to lead to grave consequences when we choose to face them. Yet there are others that can be deadly. Can we know the difference? If we genuinely want to be rid of our fear, then the onus is on us to research it. Facing fear requires courage, but if we wait for a feeling to tell us to make a move, it may never come. This is why many make the choice to bravely act, despite how it makes them feel physically, mentally, or emotionally. The ones that do, often experience an overwhelming sense that words don’t quite do justice explaining.

As a teenager, I rode several roller coasters with my brother and our friend. The first one was utterly terrifying. My favorite hat flew off within seconds of the ride starting. The ride jerked me around at ridiculous speeds and it felt like death lurked around every turn or drop. At the end of the ride, I was saturated with terror and felt lucky to be alive. Then they took me on the next ride, where I stood up the whole time as the thing hurled me around and upside down. When I got off that ride, I said to myself, never again. That turned out not to be true and I later rode a kiddie roller coaster that did not bother me the slightest. But as for the thrill rides, I considered my days of riding them over.

Many years passed since that day. A few months ago, though, I went to a theme park I had never at before. At the urging of those with me, I reluctantly joined them for another roller coaster. I was curious how I would react twenty some years later. One thing is that I am no longer am afraid of what is on the other side of death. It almost felt like an experiment to test my faith to see if I could overcome my fear. The way the line worked out, I ended up having to ride by myself. They went on ahead of me and their ride quickly took off. For the next thirty seconds or so, I was left alone to dwell on my decision. The next ride came in and the people exited it. For a few seconds, I glanced at the exit. It was my final chance to turn and run from what I was afraid of. Instead, I got in the ride and pulled the bar down over myself. It clicked in place and I knew there was no getting out now.

The ride took off, but this time I had my hat lodged underneath me. For part of the ride, I actually enjoyed myself, although I must admit, a few times I still closed my eyes. But I no longer felt like death was waiting for me. I was able to get excitement out of the fast speeds and turns, all the way until it flipped upside down. After that, things went downhill. It felt like something in my head was suddenly out of whack. I could feel the dizziness when I got off the ride. I knew after that; it was over for me once again. Ever since a bad case of vertigo years ago, although I recovered, things were never quite the same for me again. The good news was that I faced my fear.

It seems simple, even silly, to anyone who isn’t afraid of roller coasters. Yet there are lots of fears that seem silly to some. But do not be fooled by anyone; we all are afraid in some area. Be wise in what fears you choose to face. Then take the next step and face them. When you overcome them, it will prove to yourself that you really do have what it takes to face your fear and not back down!

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