Yesterday I reflected over the year 2020. It’s amazing how the year started off so well. I made many goals and for the first few months, I was able to achieve them daily. I was crushing it and it felt awesome. But then an unwelcome guest came onto the world stage and life as we knew it completely changed. It is a broken record that everyone is tired of hearing about. We just want our life back.
For me, the second half of the year had something great that happened, for which I am grateful to say the least. However, as the year went on, with the amount of bad news I felt incredibly weighed down. On top of that, disappointment in the remaining months of the year continued to pile on. Some people I thought I could be counted on, could not. Some things did not go my way. The list goes on.
In my time of reflection, I wondered what I was thinking the year before around the same time. I pulled up the draft of a post I wrote December 30, 2019 and published on my blog a week later. I read through it and thought about how much it pertained to me, as if it were specifically written just for me at this stage of my life. If you would like to read it, here is a link, https://authorjeffkayser.com/2020/01/06/revise-your-strategy/. Without realizing it, I lost sight of my strategy last year. When that happened, other things crept in, one specifically.
There is something that I’ve wanted for a long time now. The more that time passes without it, I find myself growing increasingly uncomfortable with not getting it. I felt like I could not be genuinely happy unless I got it, abandoning thought of everything else that I had. It was the one area I struggled with in my walk of faith. I’ve been able to believe God for nearly everything, all but this one thing. I thought I had it but, in the end, it was lost. My faith in this area felt like the stack of wooden blocks, with each one being removed by a bad experience as I waited for it all to come crashing down.
So, what happened? I finally realized that this one area had a major impact on me emotionally. As with so many things, I found myself being troubled by it on a regular basis, which affected every area of my life. Why would I allow such a thing to control me so? Great question. It took over without me even realizing it. Fortunately, I got a glimpse of it for what it is and now I have a chance to do something about it. The year ended last night, and now the new year brought a chance to say goodbye. That’s the amazing thing about a fresh start. It gives us a chance to take what is good with us into the new year. At the same time, it gives us a chance to get rid of that which we choose to leave behind. As for me, I am tired of living the way I was in the latter part of 2020. I am tired of being afraid, worried, sad, and at times broken. It’s time to say good riddance to that garbage and welcome something far better in its place. I hope you will join in. I pray the best for you all in 2021. Let’s do our part to make it happen!
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Categories: Love Self