Risk is proportional to loss. The greater the risk, the more one stands to lose. Getting close to good people means to risk losing them. Unfortunately, such is the way of life. To avoid this risk is to live alone in isolation. This mentality works but it’s kind of like a two-edge sword. One side cuts out the part of life that hurts so insanely much after we experience loss. While that seems to work momentarily, we unknowingly lose something cut out by the other edge of the sword; the reason for why it hurts so much.
If we dare not risk getting attached to someone, we will never develop the strong bonds between us, the joyful memories created, and the times they carry us (and we carry them) through life. There will be no investment of time shared together. All these things contribute to why it hurts so much to lose someone. If you cut that part out, you will miss many of the lows, but you will also miss all the highs as well. All the laughs shared, the experiences, and the joy of knowing them in a unique way.
If you’ve been fortunate to have good people in your life, be sure to appreciate them. There may come a time when you can no longer tell them how much you love and appreciate them. It’s a terrible thought to think about but it is an unpleasant fact that everyone must deal with. When you choose to face this truth, it can grant you a chance to make the best of whatever time is left.
If you only see someone once a year, make every minute of it count when you do. If you count the number of times left, the number will continue to drop until one of you is gone. Yes, this sucks to think about for sure! But ignoring it will not allow you to appreciate the truth. Never let the length of time you think you have left determine whether or not you will act. No one is guaranteed any length of time to live. If you are waiting for the right time to forgive someone, to show them love, to make things right, don’t wait another second. The best time is now, in the next few seconds before your mind gives you ten reasons not to.
Of course, you may have many years left with them! I hope that is the case. Throw away all the excuses now though and make the most of your relationships, right this minute. When you make choices like that, chances are you will not look back one day and be haunted by guilt or regret. When all that could have been was already done or is currently being done, it gives lots more peace of mind.
When the sad day of loss does come, everything inside you will want to shrivel up and pull away from the pain. You won’t want to get close again to another person for fear that they too, will not always be around. This is natural as we work through the mourning process. But when the nudge comes one day to develop deeper, more meaningful relationships again, don’t shove it away because of fear. Instead, welcome it. It may take time, counseling, medicine, or other support to get through. But ultimately, get through. On the other side, past the pain, are all the wonderful things you can share with someone else. It doesn’t take away from who that person was to you; they forever hold that place in your heart. It simply creates a space for someone new.