Has your soul ever felt sapped of the life force that drives you inside? While positive quotes are helpful, during these times uplifting words do not always help. I call them the soul sucking moments of life that leave you feeling completely drained. We push others away because we loathe the pain so much we wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.

Isolated on these lonely islands of despair, we still desire to connect – somehow, someway. It brings great satisfaction when we finally do connect with someone. Perhaps they have been through the same type of pain or knows someone personally who has. A powerful bond forms when people who share similar experiences connect with each other.

An important thing to remember when sharing painful situations is that they are not all the same. It can drive people away when you claim to know what they are going through. You may think you understand their pain but chances are high that you don’t unless you have been in the exact same circumstances. You may argue, pain is pain. True. Apples and oranges are both fruits, but they are also very different. In a similar way, our pain is unique to our circumstances and experiences.

When you haven’t felt the same type of pain and try to compare your pain to others, they may feel cheated. For example, the death of an elderly loved one varies significantly from people expericing the death of a child. But when you’ve lost a sibling and come across another person who also lost a sibling, there is a level of pain that you now share with that person. No longer do you bear the pain alone. Alas, there is another who shares in this struggle. That is a major reason why I believe support groups work so well. People share in a struggle and help support one another. While no two persons share identical lives, their relatability can revolve around these similarities.

There are times when that support may not be there. We flip through song after song, in search of one that will lift our spirit. It’s like being on a deserted island, finely tuning an old CB radio in order to find someone on the right frequency, somebody who gets us, who knows what we are going through. Then something miraculous happens when we find a song that stirs our soul to the core and it becomes “that song”, the one we turn to when bad is breaking loose in our lives. I have many songs like that to redirect focus off my worries and problems. When I change my focus to being on God alone, it helps more than anything else I’ve ever done.

I recently found myself feeling sapped of energy and strength, caught in a soul suck moment. I turned on a song and suddenly, I could feel myself being lifted out of the pit. Out of nowhere came the sound of a squawking bird. It was not a continuous squawk, nor was it a one time occurence. The hackeling sounds came in between moments of relief while I was trying to let go of my worries. Like a crab trying to pull me back into the mess with all the other crabs, the squawking pulled at me. However, captivated by freedom, I knew I had to let go of the squawking. Gripping on to the freedom instead, required effort. The squawking, however, was completely out of my control. Sure, I could have tried to silence the bird, but another would likely take its place. Instead, I let the bird squawk because that is what squawking birds do. After that, I clung to my freedom song and climbed my way out of the pit.

When you try to climb your way out of whatever trouble you find yourself in, there will likely be some people who have something to say about it. Let them squawk. Focus on your freedom and climb your way out.