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For some people, giving comes easy. It’s receiving that they need to work on. For these people, the first inclination after receiving a gift is to turn around and give something equal or greater in return. A genuine gift from the heart should not have to be returned in any way to the original giver. In some cases, it becomes an issue of pride where the giving becomes a competition. If the receiver has any trouble with their beliefs about themselves, they may not feel worthy of a gift.

Someone once told me how they had received an amazing gift. They were grateful but had a tough time accepting it. I reminded them that some of the best gifts come when we do not deserve them or when we cannot pay the person back. In that spirit of generosity, giving flourishes well. The usual form of gratitude is a simple thank you to the giver. This gesture acknowledges the good nature of the giver and lets them know that you value their contribution to your life. This is what most parents try to teach their children early on. For most, a thank you is enough. However, adding a big smile to it adds an extra touch to it, sort of like icing on a cake.

In this day of technology, people are inundated with emails and text messages. Another idea for how to express your gratitude is by writing a brief note or letter by hand. It’s not just around the holidays; the postal service will deliver your handwritten note for a minimal charge year-round. The best part about it is that it is such an inexpensive way to show appreciation. It demonstrates more effort on the part of the one who sends the note and thus, takes on more meaning. I have gotten more emails and texts than I can shake a stick at. However, I can count on one hand the number of handwritten notes.


I express my appreciation after each gift received. For several months I wait for time to pass. When it feels like the right time, I may send a surprise gift to them in return. It has been neat to see how the timing can be perfect. The similar feeling, they blessed me with, could then be experienced by them. The main consideration is just recognizing the effort and gift given. Be sure to let others know how much a gift means to you. Don’t try to outdo their gift if you ever give one in return some day. Perhaps there is an area in which they are incapable of filling on their own. That might be an opportunity to step in and fill in a gap in their life.

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